Tag Archives: Toronto Blue Jays


Thanks, Doc

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Toronto Sports Fans Are Officially On My Shit List

You’ve done it fans of Toronto sports. You’ve made the shit list. Quite an impressive feat, considering that before this day, the shit list consisted of Joe Carter (I’m sure you all know him pretty well), Mitch Williams, and that guy who dislocated Gordon Bombay’s kneecap in D2: The Mighty Ducks.

What could you have possibly done to join such disgusting company, you ask?

Well, in the last two weeks, you’ve made Philadelphia fans (myself included there) look like friggin’ angels with the stunts you’ve pulled off at your stadiums.

Let’s start with this complete jackass.

toronto stronger

This heartless, soulless subhuman showed up to Game 3 of his beloved Toronto Maple Leafs’ first-round matchup against the Boston Bruins at the Air Canada Centre with a sign emblazoned with a blue-and-white ribbon that read “Toronto Stronger.” The message was directly mocking the logo used by the City of Boston to signify their strength and unity following the Boston Marathon bombings. Not only did this son-of-a-bitch wave the sign throughout the entire game, but it even made an appearance on the jumbotron for all in attendance and those at home watching to see.

Now, fast forward to last night.

As the Blue Jays were hosting the Baltimore Orioles, O’s outfielder Nate McClouth ranged to his right and back towards the warning track to snag a fly ball near the left-field foul line, and as he was throwing the ball back towards the infield a beer bottle is seen narrowly—like by mere inches—missing the All-Star outfielder’s head. According to USA Today-affiliate For The Win, the bottle was hurled from the upper deck (view the GIF here).

Forget the fact that about half the bottle was wasted based on the amount of beer seen spewing out of it as it hits the turf and flips around. McClouth could’ve been seriously injured (killed?) if the bottle was standing just a few inches to the right.

The best reaction, though, has to be the guy in the red jersey to the left who immediately looks in the direction of the bottle-hurler and throws his arms up in disgust.

WTF Toronto?!? Get your shit together.

A Look at the Toronto Blue Jays at the Quarter Pole (It Isn’t Pretty)

Holy hell what a nightmare start to the season it’s been for the Toronto Blue Jays. And I’m not just talking about the scary shot J.A. Happ took to the side of the head last week. Whenever I start feeling down about the Phillies (which I’m not right now, but who’s really going to hold their breath with this team) all I have to do is look at the mess that GM Alex Anthopoulos has created for himself and all of my worries seem to go right out the window.

His inability to make effective decisions with the on-the-field product while adding over $40 million to the team’s payroll is mind boggling, but when you dissect the man’s last name things start to make a little more sense. Despite living in Canada, he’s obviously struggled with shedding his Greek roots.

Watching this team struggle to come together, gel, and play sound baseball on a consistent basis brings me back to the debacle of 2011 with the Philadelphia Eagles. Anthopoulos needed to look no further than the moves made by Andy Reid to bring in big name after big name into town, creating a Dream Team of sorts, and what that ultimately resulted in.

It was an absolute disaster.

Heads rolled, some literally.

And if the Blue Jays continue down the road they’re currently on, I can see things getting just about as ugly north of the border.

Just how bad is it, though?

Well, prior to Opening Day 32 of 43 ESPN’s MLB experts picked the Blue Jays to make it to the post season—20 of those 32 had them winning the AL East, four had them going to the Fall Classic, and one fool actually picked them to win it all—and they’re doing a pretty damn good job making them all look like complete assholes for doing so.

Can you blame the experts? I mean, they did add some high-profile names like Josh Johnson, Mark Buerhle, Jose Reyes, R.A. Dickey (the reigning NL Cy Young winner), and Melkey Cabrera to a lineup that already had Jose Bautista and… um, well, Jose Bautista. You absolutely can blame them. Half of those names came from Miami where the spending-spree strategy failed just a year earlier. And they took a risk adding a man who resurrected his career by living and dying with the knuckle ball, and this year he’s showing little to no signs of life.

Through 40 games this year, they sit dead last in the AL East at 16-24, 9.5 games out. At the same point in 2012, they were four games over .500, just 4 back of the division-leading Orioles, and were spending a hell of a lot less money.

Their bats still have some pop in them, they’re second only to the Texas Rangers in the American League with 51 home runs. But they aren’t hitting consistently—they’re batting just .243 as a team which is second to last in the AL. It doesn’t help that Reyes is out until at least the All-Star Break with a severely sprained ankle, and Cabrera has been playing with a bum hammy.

As for the pitching staff… Well, they’d be better off just setting a tee up and letting teams put the ball in play against them. Their team ERA is a woeful 4.79, good(?) enough for second last in baseball. They’ve also given up the second highest walk total (155), just four fewer than the Houston Astros. Josh Johnson hasn’t won a game yet this year; he’s 0-1 with a 6.86 ERA and is also on the 15-day DL with a triceps injury. Mark Buerhle is just 1-2 with a 6.19. And Dickey, who leads the team with three wins, also leads the team with five losses and has a 4.83 ERA.

Don’t ask me for any remedies to help them fix the poor play, I don’t have them. But one thing I do know (that I’ve known for a while now actually, that these deep-pocket execs can’t seem to wrap their giant heads around) is that any team that decides to go and add a wealth of all-star caliber names to a roster and expects it to  equal success on the field is wasting their fans’ time and money.

Luckily for the Blue Jays, there’s 120 games left to try and right the ship.

J.A. Happ Gets Nailed in the Head

This one’s tough to watch. In the second inning of the Jays-Rays game, Toronto’s J.A. Happ took a friggin laser off of the left side of his head and immediately crumpled to the ground in a heap, clutching the area around his ear. One camera angle shows him pulling his hand away and him looking at a hand covered in blood.

Not pretty.

This is literally a pitcher’s worst nightmare, and I can only hope and pray that the former Phillie isn’t too badly hurt, has a quick recovery, and can quickly get over the inevitable fear he’ll have of stepping back on a professional baseball mound.