Tag Archives: Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jaguars Can Still Make the Playoffs. No, I’m Not Batshit Crazy.

jags playoff hopes alive

Now, the probability of this actually happening is somewhere in the low single digits percentage-wise, but the fact is, after their win over the Houston Texans in the Toilet Bowl last night (which, ICYMI, resulted in the firing of Gary Kubiak today), there is still a mathematical chance that the Jacksonville Jaguars, current owners of the longest winning streak in the AFC (!!!!), could make the playoffs as the six-seed in the absolutely putrid American Football Conference.

Before getting into that, though, consider this: After starting the season 0-8, that Jags have won four of their last five and now, at 4-9, have a better record than four teams—including playoff teams from last year like the Washington Redskins (3-9), Atlanta Falcons (3-9), and those Texans (2-11)—and they could be tied with three others by the end of the week.

For them to make it, a hell of a lot of things have to happen, per ESPN’s NFL Playoff Machine (which is a great way to waste half of a workday, b-t-dubs). First and foremost, the Jaguars have to win out; their next three games are at home against Buffalo, home against the Titans, and what could turn out to be a critical Week 17 matchup at Indy, who will probably be looking to rest their starters ahead of Wild Card Weekend. This is completely doable.

Now things get slightly complicated.

  • Tennessee loses to Denver on Sunday (which is practically a foregone conclusion) and only wins one of two against the Cardinals and Texans (they may lose both).
  • Baltimore can beat Minnesota, but then drops its next three against the Lions, Pats, and Bengals.
  • Same thing with Miami, except the first game is critical. They have to beat Pittsburgh on Sunday, then lose its last three to New England, Buffalo and the Jets.
  • Pittsburgh has to lose to Miami and then drop at least one of its remaining three games (vs. Cincinnati, at Green Bay, vs. Cleveland).
  • The Jets (who somehow remain in contention as well) lose two of three against the Raiders, Browns, and Panthers, and then beat the Dolphins in Week 17.

If all of that plays out like so… BOOM! The Jacksonville Jaguars are your 6-seed in the AFC. It’s as simple as that.

I may be slightly bat shit crazy for thinking that all of this is going to go down, but, hey, anything could happen. The Jags can pray for a miracle, which might’ve come a little easier had they signed a certain saintly quarterback (who’s still on the market, I might add). But even without him they’ve managed to fight their way back into relevance and still have a sliver of hope that they could be playing football in January (which I think I may be rooting for). That alone should be seen as a huge win for this team moving forward.

Depressed? Just Remember, At Least You’re Not a Jaguars Fan

Are you pissed off at the world? Does it feel like your life is spinning completely out of control? Do you have the urge to just punch someone, anyone, square in the face? Is this misery all connected to the poor performance of your favorite NFL team who lost a game? (It is for me.) Well, I may have found the remedy for you and I, my fellow football enthusiast.

All we have to do is repeat one phrase, two, maybe three times, and all of that pain will go away.

Are you ready? Take a deep breath and repeat after me:

“Thank God I’m not a Jags fan.”

One more time now, ready? Breath in, and….

“Thank God I’m not a Jags fan.”

Exhale… Phew. I don’t know about you, but I feel a thousand percent better already. Forget the fact the Eagles gave up 33 points yesterday lost on a last second field goal. Thank God I’m not a Jags fan!

What is it about that phrase that makes all of the hurt go away so easy, you might ask? Well, aside from the fact that being a Jags fan is just a completely miserable way to go about your everyday life—and aside from the other fact that the Jags lost 19-9 to the team that I made the Bold Prediction would go 0-16 (but said I’d be willing to modify it so the prediction is now that the Jags would go 0-16), and aside from the other other fact that they rank dead last in just about every major offensive category, and aside from the other other other fact that they hadn’t scored a touchdown until there were just under three minutes left in the 4th quarter of their second game of the season—being a Jags fan means that even TV stations apologize to you about their being forced to televise that garbage. Seriously.

Orlando CBS affiliate WKMG-TV issued an apology to viewers because of the fact that they were obligated to show the Jacksonville-Oakland game on Sunday. Hell if they wanted people to think they were doing so by choice. The station sent out this tweet shortly after the game’s 4:25 ET kickoff:

Just to further distance itself from the train wreck that was unfurling over their airwaves, and make sure that fans completely understood that they had nothing to do with this, WKMG scrolled a message across the bottom of the screen during the game saying they were simply complying with the NFL’s policy and that they “apologize for any inconvenience.”

According to WKMG Vice President and General Manager Skip Valet, the arrangement between the NFL and the Orlando-based station is nothing new. Since Jacksonville can’t get enough of their own residents to support the team, Orlando has been designated the secondary Jaguars market and has carried Jags away games for nearly the last 20 years.

“I know it’s frustrating, but as a CBS station in this market you have to carry the away games,” Valet told the Associated Press.

The Jags have are currently 31st in the league in scoring with 11 points, two points ahead of the Pittsburgh Steelers who still have yet to suit up for their second game of the season… Jacksonville has missed the playoffs in 11 of the last 13 years and are coming off of their worst season in franchise history, going 2-14. They’ve now lost their last 7 games in a row dating back to the end of last season (and probably will not see that streak end any time soon).

So, yeah. Thank God I’m not a Jags fan.