Forget the fact that Bryce Brites can probably count the number of words he knows on his fingers—actually, scratch that, he probably isn’t even sure how to count yet either. None of that mattered to Belgian soccer club FC Racing Boxberg, though, which signed the 20-month-old baby to a professional contract, making him (it?) the youngest “professional athlete” on the planet.
(Brief aside—stunningly, Brites actually doesn’t hold the record for the youngest professional athlete of all time. That honor goes to then-18-month-old Baerke van der Meij who was signed to a 10-year deal by Dutch soccer club VVV-Venlo in 2011. And while we’re on this aside, can I ask what the hell is wrong with people?)
According to Fox Soccer Blog, Racing Boxberg coaches were extremely impressed with the 20-month-old’s “highly unusual” talent and “incredible” ball control. I’d guess they were also put into some sort of trance by the unbelievably photogenic infant. The tot was issued his own Belgian FA membership card and was invited to train with the club’s Under-5 team.
Racing Boxberg club secretary Dany Vodnik spoke fondly about the team’s newest addition, who reportedly has yet to learn to wipe his own ass but sure knows how to dribble a soccer ball.
“Bryce kicks a ball in a way you do not even see when playing drills with four or five-year-olds. His ball control is incredible for his age. The way he dribbles with the ball at his feet between the cones, he can give a pass to the left or right.
“You ask him to kick a ball three or five meters and he does so, but he may not play with the five and six-year-old boys yet. We must remain cautious.“
This’ll be a fun one to revisit in a decade or two, to see if the signing actually paid off. Whether or not this kid has true talent or his parents are exploiting the shit out of his magical right foot, Brites is clearly going to be the talk of the playground.