This A-Roid Thing Is Gonna Be Around a While

Expect it to get pretty friggin’ ugly, too.

Major League Baseball is just about ready to hand down the remaining suspension in connection with the Biogenesis clinic in the next several days, a majority of which will be the typical 50-game suspension for first-time offenders. Alex Rodriguez, on the other hand, is in line to receive a much larger punishment. But the disgraced, injured, roiding, asshole slugger has let it be known that he plans on unleashing total roid-filled rage fighting any suspension.

The tone in A-Roids camp, however, has changed in the last 24 hours after, according to multiple sources, the League has threatened the Yankee 3rd baseman with a lifetime ban. The basis for that charge is the result of evidence the league says it has that Rodriguez reportedly tried to impede MLB’s investigation into his connection to the clinic by witness-tampering and trying to have documents destroyed. Those actions, the league said, would be a violation of the “integrity of the game” policy.

According to ESPN reporter T.J. Quinn, league officials are pushing for the ban because they’d rather Rodriguez be forced to defend himself rather than agree to a suspension that allows him to play while going through the appeal process. And still, Rodriguez believes he’ll be able to put all of this behind him at some point, continue his career, and be a role model for young players (per his comments to Sports Illustrated).

This madness just needs to stop, though it seems like it never will.

I don’t care that A-Rod has never officially tested positive for PEDs. The fact is, he’s admitted to using them, and the evidence is starting to pile up that he hasn’t stopped using them–despite his best efforts to hide that evidence. At this point in his career (and life) his best days are far behind him. And contrary to what he may believe, his image is completely ruined. We all saw what Barry Bonds went through as he fought tooth and nail to have him name cleared, so A-Rod should know that this just isn’t going to end well for anyone involved. The best decision he could possibly make moving forward is to call it a career here in the states. If he still has the itch to play, he should try taking his talents overseas to some other country, because at this rate, that’s the only way he’s going to be suiting up for a top-tier league.

But this isn’t going to end that easily. He’s going beat this thing senseless. He’s gone and kicked a dead horse, put a few bullets in the things head, tied it up, put it in a van, lit the van on fire, and shoved it over a cliff into a lake that somehow became infested with great white sharks who then go and rip the horse to shreds. Because after all that, he thinks he’ll find a way to save face.

Face it, A-Rod, you have no face left to save. If you really want to do something for all of us baseball fans out here who are forced to watch this incredible train wreck (too soon?), put an end to this. Pack it in. Get out of the game. Move on. Hang ’em up. Go find yourself a nice shiny rock to live under with your hundreds of millions of dollars, and  never come out.

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