Monthly Archives: June 2013

David Luiz Made the Most Incredible Save You’ll Ever See

Brazil’s David Luiz made one of the most insane sliding saves you’ll ever see, and he did it to keep the FIFA Confederation Cup hosts ahead of the defending World Cup champs, Spain, in the Confed Cup Finals. He basically defied the laws of physics with this (click on the images to see the .gifs in action).

Take 1:


Take 2:


(ht For The Win)

Russian Teens Allegedly Decapitate Homeless Man, Play Soccer With His Head

So, this is probably one of the most disturbing head(less)lines I’ve ever come across in my entire life.

According to the New York Post, quoting Russian police, two drunk Moscow teens used an axe, saw, and knives to kill and decapitate a homeless man because “they didn’t like the look of him.” The teens then proceeded (allegedly) to use the man’s head as a soccer ball. After one of the teens successfully kicked the head into a garbage can, they left the scene with the corpse lying in the middle of the street.

The cops were able to track down the suspects by following a trail of blood from the scene to an apartment. There they found what is believed to be the murder weapons, along with the two teens and three other acquaintances—the other three are not believed to have been involved in the murder. A Russian paper reports that the walls of the apartment were covered in blood.

There has been some difficulty trying to identify the homeless man as the head was taken away by a garbage truck before police were able to cordon off the murder scene.

The teens could face 15 years in prison (yeah, that’s all) if convicted of the brutal killing.

Best (and Worst) Commercials Featuring a Sports Figure

Chemistry. Skill. Technique. Strength. Poise.

These are all imperative skills for professional athletes as they perform at increasingly high levels in their respective sports. But as they grow older, those same skills come into play when they run out of money and seek alternative incomes… As commercial stars.

Some athletes are great, they know how to put on a good performance and be entertaining, funny even (see Shaq). For some, their presence is enough (see MJ). For others, not so much.

Here are two prime examples that are complete polar opposites of one another. One featuring Dikembe Mutombo—I don’t think there’s any commercial, in the history of commercials, that tops the big man’s performance here; incredibly hilarious, puts me on the floor every time. The other, Brian Orakpo—and Gilbert Gottfried (?!?)—which features terrible, god-awful lip-syncing and some incredibly weird dance “moves.”




If you can think of any others, be sure to leave ’em in the comments.

This Was, By Far, The Coolest Moment of the 2013 NBA Draft

I let it happen. After all the trash I talked on the NBA and the Miami Heat, I let myself get sucked into watching the 2013 NBA Draft last night. And now I’m hooked. While I think a big part of the reason why I enjoyed those 4 and a half hours alone on the couch had to do with my supreme love for college basketball, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was by far the most entertaining draft I’ve ever witnessed. The NBA does it right when it comes to showcasing the fresh meat being picked off of the platter by its member teams on top of the craziness that is all of the draft-day deals being concocted behind the scenes, and last night was just another incredible example of that.

One of the most incredible moments, though, came when it was time for the last pick of the first round to be announced—David Stern’s 839th and final draft pick announcement as commissioner of the NBA. How everything went down was absolutely perfect, from the standing ovation to the immediate boos when his successor was introduced to the special appearance by Hakim Olajuwon to The Dream wearing an iteration of the same tux he wore when he was the first pick of the 1984 Draft—Stern’s first as commissioner. Here’s a clip for those who missed it, or those who want to relive the moment:

Picture perfect. Doesn’t get much better than that.

Before Stern walked out from behind the curtain to make the pick, a pretty cool highlight reel of his 30 years working the draft was shown.

What’d you think of the draft?

Former Phillie Darren Daulton Has Two Brain Tumors

Talk about a punch to the gut…

Former Philadelphia Phillies catcher Darren Daulton (who was also on the 1997 Miami Marlins World Series roster after being traded by the Phillies near the deadline) has two brain tumors. His current employer, 97.5 The Fanatic, released the following statement:

Darren Daulton has not been feeling well over the past two weeks. He went to the doctor who discovered two brain tumors and is scheduled for surgery early next week.  Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family at this difficult time. Of course we want to respect his privacy at a time like this, but if you would like to send him get well wishes you may do so at

There’s a reason we all pursue whatever it is we do in life, some driving force. When I was a youngin’ growing up in the suburbs of Philadelphia, all I wanted to do was sign up for little league and play catcher. Why? Because I—like a lot of kids my age around that time—idolized the hell out of Darren Daulton. I tried to mimic everything about his game, and threw a fit until I had number 10 on the back of my jersey.

This is completely devastating news, and my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family as he starts on the road to a full recovery.

Get better quick, Dutch.

Classless Sports Journalism Following the Hernandez Murder Charge

It’s a tie for what may have been the worst headline following the arrest and indictment of ex-New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez yesterday.

The first comes from the Orlando Sentinal’s own, George Diaz: “Hernandez arrest bodes well for Tim Tebow at TE” … If you ever want to show the public just how out of touch you are, this is an excellent way to do it. Publish an article minutes after the charge of charges is filed against an athlete, minutes after the chilling account of how said athlete allegedly murdered an innocent man in cold blood, minutes after the victims family had to excuse themselves from the courtroom as the details of that murder are read aloud, that completely brushes the whole thing aside as if it’s a mere footnote in a longer story.

Here’s a sample of the trash Diaz published:

As folks like to say, when one door closes, another opens up.

In this case, it’s the clink  of the cellblock closing in on Aaron Hernandez, and the heavens parting for Tim Tebow.

The New England Patriots are in need of tight ends after Hernandez was arrested Wednesday morning. Police charged Herandez with murder and five-related gun charges in connection to the death of Odin Lloyd, an acquaintance who was found dead in an industrial park near Hernandez’s house. The Patriots immediately released Hernandez on Wednesday.

The tragedy of Odin’s death and the impact on his family will become a secondary story for talking heads in our celebrity-obsessed culture.

Hernandez’s misery is a win for Tebow. …

Aaron Hernandez, Biggest Loser.

Tim Tebow, Big Winner.

Then there’s this from the Pats Pulpit on SBNation: “Weathering the Aaron Hernandez Storm” … Oh, this should be good. First, a sample:

We all know the news by now – Aaron Hernandez has been taken into custody, and was subsequently released from the team. And while we don’t know exactly how all of this is going to play out, to be honest it’s no longer my business. I hope all of this works out for everyone involved and that justice is served one way or another, but Aaron Hernandez is no longer a New England Patriot and that’s just the way it is.

There’s one thing you can take to the bank, though, as more facts come to the surface: those people who love nothing more than to see bad things happen to the Patriots are going to have an absolute field day with this. … Some of them have already started, namely a few choice bumbling buffoons in the media who likely skipped the graduations of their children in order to get an article out there about how the Pats have lost their way or how the Hernandez situation is yet another chink in the armor of the crumbling ruins that was once the Patriots dynasty. We can all expect a lot more of that kind of talk over the coming weeks, and possibly over the coming months, depending on how the chips fall. …

All I can really do at this point is wish Hernandez the best of luck and hope that his prison cell has basic cable so he can watch his former team host a few playoff games this January.

Or, should he not go to jail, the very best of luck to him over in Oakland.

Ugh, where to start. I guess the best place would be with the tone of this “writer.” Way to be selfish and turn Hernandez arrest into something about you and your beloved team. They refer to the “Patriot Way” at a certain point in the article; that must refer to their ability to take any situation, no matter how serious, how unrelated and insert themselves right in the middle of it because they’re that self absorbed.

Then there’s the dig this guy takes at the media, claiming “a few choice bumbling buffoons” skipping out on important life events to get a story about the “crumbling ruins that was once the Patriots dynasty.” First of all, when was your last Super Bowl win? To have a dynasty, one must sit at the peak year after year, and, by my calculations, the Pats haven’t been at the peak of the NFL (i.e. champions) since 2004, nearly a decade ago. That’s besides the point here though. All of those bumbling buffoons that you’re referring to, they’re all out there right now, reporting what facts they have available to them. No one is scrambling to put together articles talking about the fall of the Pats, they’re busy talking about the fall from grace of this 23-year-old gifted athlete, and the tragedy that has struck Odin Lloyd’s family and the difficult time that lies ahead for them. Honestly, the only bumbling buffoon that I’ve come across on the interwebs today is the fool who’s excerpt lies a few lines above yours. Get your head out of your ass.

What say you, dear reader? Who wins douchebag of the day for their “coverage” of the Aaron Hernandez arrest?

VIDEO: Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez Arrested

UPDATE: The New England Patriots have (swiftly) released tight end Aaron Hernandez. Hernandez was arrested this morning in connection with the murder of Odin Lloyd.

The Pats tweeted this…

…and released the following statement:

The New England Patriots have announced the release of tight end Aaron Hernandez following his arrest in the investigation of a homicide last week in North Attleboro, Mass.

The New England Patriots issued the following statement: “A young man was murdered last week and we extend our sympathies to the family and friends who mourn his loss. Words cannot express the disappointment we feel knowing that one of our players was arrested as a result of this investigation. We realize that law enforcement investigations into this matter are ongoing. We support their efforts and respect the process. At this time, we believe this transaction is simply the right thing to do.”

What a day…


The saga involving the murder of 27-year-old Odin Lloyd, whose body was found a mile away from the Attleborough home of New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, hit a new level this morning. Police showed up at Hernandez’s home—which they’ve been in and out of over the course of the last week—and led the 23-year-old away in handcuffs around 9 a.m. this morning.

[url href=”“]ProFootballTalk[/url] had more on how the police have shown Hernandez no special treatment throughout the process:

In some NFL cities, the authorities are inclined to look the other way when it comes to a member of the local football team.  In North Attleboro, Massachusetts, that’s definitely not happening.

Apart from the gravity of the circumstances surrounding the arrest of tight end Aaron Hernandez, the police apparently have given Hernandez no special consideration of any kind.

He wasn’t permitted to drive to the police station and quietly turn himself in.  Instead, the police showed up at his house, cuffed him, and led him to the cruiser.  Like every episode of Cops, except in the daylight.

The treatment reflects the authorities’ attitude toward Hernandez.  Either they don’t like him for allegedly obstructing justice, or they believe he was involved in the murder of Odin Lloyd — and in turn treated him like every other defendant whom police regard as being capable of killing another person.

PFT also shared a link to a video of Hernandez’s arrest, which can be seen after the jump.