The Miami Marlins Are Closing the Upper Deck for Some Home Games

Laugh. Out. Loud.

The Miami Marlins, who currently sit in dead last in the National League for overall record (10-24), also are in the NL’s basement for average attendance at home games. How they’re able to convince 18,864 “fans” to show up to games at the year-old ballpark and watch some semblance of a professional baseball team “compete” is beyond me, but more power to those ticket sales reps who show up on a daily basis to perform the duties of quite the unfortunate job.

Changes are coming this month, though. According to the Miami Herald, the team plans to close the upper bowl of the stadium during two upcoming series this month—against the Reds and Phillies—in an attempt to fill the seats that are immediately visible to those watching at home. Oh, and to create a “better fan experience” for the twelve people in attendance.

More from the Herald:

Marlins representative P.J. Loyello said the team has not decided whether to close the upper bowl for all Monday-through-Thursday home games, and decisions will be made before each homestand. About 10,000 of the stadium’s 37,442 seats are in the upper bowl.

Fewer than 500 people own season tickets in the upper bowl, and those fans are being moved—with no additional charge—to seats in the lower bowl for all Monday-through-Thursday games.

Upper bowl tickets to weeknight games will continue be sold on Marlins.com. Fans who buy single-game upper deck tickets will be moved to the lower bowl if the Marlins decide to close the upper bowl on those particular nights.

As for the concessions and restroom situation, Loyello says it’ll be “better for the fans” than if they were spread thin throughout the stadium. Sweet, so not only will fans get to watch pathetic play on the field, but they’ll get to experience the long lines for food and to go to the bathroom just like those at ballparks where people actually show up!

What a fabulous job Jeffrey Loria is doing…

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